It seems that a lot of our old definitions for things are just that: Old. Here are some of the new definitions we loved the most: |
School: An institute where the child goes to play while the parent goes to pay.
Life Insurance: A contract that leaves you poor while you live so you can die rich.
Nurse: A woman that wakes you up in the middle of the night to give you sleeping pills.
Tears: The hydrolic force that women use to defeat men.
Conference: One man's confusion multiplied by the number of people there.
Father: The banker nature gave children.
Politician: Whoever shakes your hand before elections and your wallet after elections.
Doctor: A person who kills your disease with pills and you with bills.
Compromise: The art of dividing the cake in a way that makes everyone believe they got the largest piece.
Mosquito: The only insect that makes you prefer flies.
Etc: The word that makes people think you are smarter than you really are.
Atom Bomb: The invention to end all other inventions.
Yawn: The only time married men are allowed to open their mouth.
Philosopher: A masochistic fool who will be considered a genius once dead.
An adult: A person who has stopped growing from either end and now just grows in the middle.
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Chicken: The only animal we eat before it's born as well as after it's dead.
Fancy restaurant: The only restaurant that serves you cold soup on purpose.
Puddle: A small body of water that attracts other small bodies wearing dry shoes.
|
Images courtesy of: Arvind Balaraman, imagerymajestic, stockimages, rakratchada torsap, Clare Bloomfield, David Castillo Dominici / freedigitalphotos.net
Joke: She Still Likes to Have a Drink
An old lady is celebrating her 80th birthday aboard a cruise ship. The bartender buys her a drink, and she proceeds to have a few...
20 Clever Words for Clever People To Laugh Over...
Have you heard of these words? No?? How come?
Joke: The Odd Driver
When a cop pulls over a man for speeding, little does he know what he's in for...
This Joke Starts With Three Dogs Walking Down the Street
Three male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful female poodle. She tells them that whoever has the best way with words would get her...
20 Funny Signs That Prove Churches Have a Sense of Humor
These hilarious signs show the funny side of the Christian religion.
Enjoy a Hilarious Dose of Animal Pranks!
Enjoy a hilarious compilation of the best animal pranks by Just for Laughs
Hilarious: When a Ventriloquist Gets Hypnotized...
Watch this ventriloquist as she does a creative and funny routine I've never seen another ventriloquist do anything like this before!
It’s Hard to Believe These Hilarious US Laws Still Exist!
Did you know California prohibits riding bikes in swimming pools? Discover more such bizarre US laws in this article.
HILARIOUS: 20 Signs That Are Too Funny to Pass By
We could all use a bit of laughter these days, and what’s better than brilliantly funny signs?
HILARIOUS: 15 Dogs that are Having a Really Funny Day
New dog toys are hilariously giving dogs a shiny new smile that will crack you up.
Classic Comedy: The Wacky Adventures of Harold Lloyd
Enjoy this hilarious compilation of funny gags by the master of comedy, Harold Lloyd.
These 14 Hilarious Vet Signs Are Gonna Crack You Up!
From unapologetic puns about neutering pets to side-splitting two-liners about the differences between cats and dogs, get ready to laugh your head off!
Mr. Bean: How Should One NOT Paint?
Our old friend Mr. Bean is the only one who can get into such a situation when all he needs to do is paint...
75 Hilarious Family Jokes Perfect For Kids & Adults!
While some of us might enjoy humor that's a little dark or dirty, these children's jokes are perfect for kids and adults alike!
Hilarious: Only in Dubai...
Dubai is a unique country, and offers some sights you'll probably never seen anywhere else in the world...
WATCH: 10 Funny Xmas Editions of 'Simon's Cat' All in One!
These hilarious cartoons from Simon's cat serve to remind us not to forget something really important: It's Christmas for our cats too!
Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards 2022: 16 Silly Winning Pics
The Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards are back! Here are the winning images from this year’s contest.
Who Knew Church Signs could be This Funny?
Churches seem to have found that addressing dwindling congregations can be achieved with a great sense of humor. Here are 14 hysterically funny US church signs.
Classic Comedy: Why Michelangelo Didn't Do the Last Supper
One of the lesser known sketches of the famous Monty Python is a hoot and a half - explaining why Michelangelo didn't paint the last supper.
In Need of a Good Laugh? Try These Cartoons!
Need a smile? Try this collection of goofy, silly and hilarious cartoons!
Tired of Inspiration Quotes? Try These Funny Posters
Enough of motivational quotes! Now, try some of these funny “demotivational” posters.
Hilarious Animal Encounters During Flights - 14 Pics
The funniest animal encounters on a plane.
20 Funny Quotes for All the Introverts Out There
Do you identify yourself as an introvert? Then you will relate to these hilarious quotes.
This Hilarious Video Starts With an Elephant...
This is one of the most clever pranks I've ever seen
Wives of Rival Politicians Fight on the Carol Burnett Show
This clip from the Carol Burnett show follows the wives of two rival politicians, who are friends in one minute and enemies the next!
These Quirky Winter Quotes Will Help Warm Your Frosty Days
Embrace the cold season with these quirky winter quotes!
Simon's Cat Requires a Hilarious Visit to the Vet!
This Simon's Cat special is 12-minutes long and in full color! Watch this hilarious episode here.
It's Impossible Not to Laugh At These Funny Signs!
Who doesn't love a funny sign? This collection will leave you grinning from ear to ear.
This Stand-Up Routine is as Funny as They Come!
This has got to be one of the funniest stand up routines of all time by Kevin Bridges. He may have a confusing accent, but he's a straight shooter and no doubt about it - a very funny man.
Hilarious! These Kids Should Have Never Been Left Alone
What do your grandchildren get up to when they are left alone? Find out here!
Crazy! What on Earth Were These Men Thinking?
If you were wondering why women tend to live a bit longer than men, then perhaps this collection of photos will make you understand a little better.
Had a Bad Day? It Can Always Be Worse!
Forget about the bad day you think you're having - these poor folks got themselves into some serious fixes. Take a look at these hilarious photos.
Hilarious: If You Love English You'll Love These Puns!
We’ve collected 14 side-splitting jokes and puns that highlight common grammatical mistakes, contain clever twists on words, and more!
It's Not Fun Being Old, But Sometimes It's Funny...
Let me make your day with these photos that made almost made me spill my coffee this morning.
Don't Forget Your Hands - Hilarious Gag
People always say not to trust psychics, but I'll bet none of them have ever imagined a situation like this one!
Funnies: The Differences Between Men and Women
These images will show you clearly why they say that women are from Venus and men are from Mars. Take a look at these amusing images for a good laugh.
Hilarious: How Cold IS IT?
Don’t like the chilly weather? Then you will relate to these hilarious winter memes.
Hilarious: You'll Only See THIS in Scotland!
Every country has its own quirks and oddities, Scotland may be one of the weirdest countries in Europe, and we have photographic proof!
To Date this Hilarious Father's Daughter, Here are the Rules
While dads may be glad to see their daughter in love, when it comes to fathers and daughters, there are some hard line rules that NO suitor should cross!
Language Humor: 15 Hilariously Bad Translation Fails
Translation isn’t for everyone and these pictures show exactly why.
20 Frighteningly Funny Signs to Watch Out For...
Some signs are so unintentionally funny that you can’t help but laugh out loud. Here’s a look at some of them.