Funny News Headlines

Enjoy the funniest news headline one liners, most of which come from real newspapers!

Funny News Headlines

Deaf mute gets new hearing
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Alzheimer's Center Prepares For An Affair To Remember.
Crash courses for private pilots - The Daily Telegraph
Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency
Bodies Needed To Look After Graveyard
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
Grandmother Of Eight Makes Hole In One
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe out Literacy.
Stolen Prosthetic Arm Discovered in a Secondhand Shop.
Federal Agents raid gun shop, find weapons
Circumcision Now Seen As Pointless.
Two Soviet Ships Collide - One Dies.
Child’s Death Ruins Couple’s Holiday
“I Thought He Was Going to Kill Me”: One Woman’s Harrowing Misunderstanding of How Haircuts Work
Flashier Great Tits Produce Stronger Sperm, Bird Study Shows.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Goldfish Is Saved From Drowning
Foul Play Suspected In Death Of Man Found Handless, Bound And Hanged
County to Pay $250,000 to Advertise Lack of Funds
Hypochondriacs aren't OK
An Australian army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.
Stolen Painting Found By Tree
Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling Of Isolation
Man is Fatally Slain.
Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder.
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed The Needy
Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests
Miners Refuse To Work After Death
Republicans Turned Off By Size Of Obama’s Package
Two Sisters Reunite after Eighteen Years at Checkout Counter.
Kicking Baby Considered Healthy
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
CRIME: Sheriff Asks For 13.7% Increase
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon
Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
Four Battered In Fish And Chip Shop
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.
Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures