My friend finally overcame his addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers.
He quit cold turkey.
My neighbor drank so much gravy on a Thanksgiving Day dare that he choked to death.
He went from the ladle to the grave.
What did the brick road say on thanksgiving?
Cobble cobble cobble!
I went to the butcher's the other day and asked them, how do you prepare your turkey for Thanksgiving?
They said that they just tell them straight out that you're gonna die.
What is a teddy bear’s favorite Thanksgiving food?
Stuffing!