I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
What's the difference between Wuhan and Las Vegas?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
Dad jokes are like Corona.
Everybody gets It but not everyone can laugh about It.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
Don't worry, the Corona Virus won't last long... It was made in China.
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
Ok, so if the Corona Virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
Nice pumpkins!
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
I want a taste of your Milky Way.
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
I wanna bob for your apples.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead