A bunch of vampire hunters needed to talk
So they scheduled a stakeholders meeting.
What the difference between you and a calendar? a calendar has dates.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Why is it so windy inside a stadium?
There are hundreds of fans.
What kind of berry has a coloring book? A crayon-berry
Did you hear about the angry pancake? He just flipped.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will Let it go.
Why can’t you ever tell a joke around glass?
It could crack up.
How do you communicate with a fish? Drop him a line!
What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup? Firecrackers!
What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says "chew chew chew".
How does a suit put his child into bed?
He tux him in.
Why did the belt get arrested? He held up a pair of pants.
Did you hear about the limo driver who went 25 years without a customer? All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.
Can February March? No. But April May.
Why are pirates called pirates? Cause they arrrrr.
Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?
Because people kept toasting him!
Why did the girl bring lipstick and eye shadow to school? She had a make-up exam!
Q: What did the tooth say to the dentist as she was leaving?
A: Fill me in when you get back
What do you call a pile of kittens a meowntain
How do billboards talk?
Sign language.
Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
"How do you shoot a killer bee?" "With a bee bee gun."
Q: What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
A: I hear the doctor is taking us out tonight!
What do you call a snowman with a six pack? An abdominal snowman.
Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?
A: To get a root canal.
What kind of driver never get a parking ticket? A screw driver
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
PRIME-mates.
The opposite of isolate is...
yousoearly.
Q: How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
By the footprints in the butter!
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
Who goes to the bathroom in the middle of a party? A party pooper.
What do bulls do when they go shopping? They CHARGE!
How do you repair a broken tomato? Tomato Paste!
What Do You Call A Bear With No Teeth? A Gummy Bear
What’s a good name for a detective?
Mr. E
Why is England the wettest country? Because the queen has reigned there for years!
Why did the two 4's skip lunch? They already 8 (ate).
Why is Basketball such a messy sport? Because you dribble on the floor!
What do you call a condiment with a hit single? a must"heard"
What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits!
What stays on the ground but never gets dirty? Shadow.
What do you call leftover aliens? Extra Terrestrials.
What kind of emotions do noses feel? Nostralgia. Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the "barking" lot!
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch
What kind of jokes do you make in the shower? Clean Jokes!
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
Question: What is the oldest animal?
Answer: The Zebra, it's still in black and white!
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What did the sink say to the potty?
You look flushed!
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.