I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter
I guess if you get vaccinated you won’t be headed to the ICU.
With all the talk of the pandemic and vaccines recently, I decided to consult a micro-biologist.
I thought they'd be smaller.
Did you guys hear about that 14-year old virgin girl who got pregnant after receiving the flu vaccine?
Sounds like an inoculate conception.
Organ donors really put their heart into it.
How do you know your dehydrated? You can hear your red blood cells crenating.
Serotonin and Dopamine: Technically, the only things you enjoy.
My vaccine dad joke failed.
But it was worth a shot.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
I can't imagine the stress put on the workers in trying to figure out the newest flu vaccine...
It probably puts a strain on the staff.
What did the Italian marine Biologist say when asked to identify an eel?
That's a moray!
How is a dog and a marine biologist alike? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
What did the Endoplasmic Reticulum say to the Golgi. I like your body, and the Golgi said it's complex.
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
What did one brain say to another?
I lobe you.
What was the biologist wearing on his first date with a hot chick? Designer jeans.
Using vaccines is...
Antibody-building.
What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
The Nucleboss.
You know what it's called when you hurry to develop a vaccine?
... Russian.
What did the femur say to the patella? I kneed you.
Why was the scuba diver failing Biology? Because he was below "C" level.
Where do hippos go to university? Hippocampus.
How do you tell the difference between boys and girls?
Take their genes down.
Biology - It grows on you.
I hear there's a new COVID-19 vaccine delivered via an audio interface as music.
It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.
How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon? He caught the garter snake.
Whats The Most tiniest Virus Ever? "smallpox".
What type of flowers does everybody have? two-lips.
What does a biologist wear when they're going out?
Designer genes.
There's now a vaccine to make you better at geometry.
It's called Pythagorean Serum.
What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped in his toe? Mitosis.
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.
I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.
What did Russian do after they made the vaccine ?
They Put-in.
What do you call doctors who make vaccines for the flu?
Flu-Fighters.
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
I hope I get Doritos.
Heard Russia has the vaccine to Coronavirus. I'm probably not Putin that into my body.
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot.
Two red blood cells met and fell in love, but alas, it was all in vein.
Working on lab science animals is a real rat race.
Why did the Russian vaccine cross the road?
To get to the other side effects.
If Russia wants to be the first country to produce a vaccine ...
... Then Soviet.
I created a vaccine for apathy, but unfortunately no one seems interested.
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
How do you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side.
What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association.
Hey why Are The Viruses All Gone? Cause They "flu" AWAY.
How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature? Romeostasis.
How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.
Hey kids! I went back in time and formed a British 80s pop group called The Vaccine!
And now The Cure is no longer necessary!