Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.