What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
If someone else would have invented the airplane, it wouldn't have been Wright.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
The Second World War was very slow because they were Stalin.
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
Why did Alexander not like eating chicken legs? Because he hated defeat.
My teacher told me in History class to do some light reading on the history of the light bulb.
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?
Because he had so many lesions.
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted to Mark Antony.
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
Hitler jokes are rude, Anne Frankly I don't care.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
When I gave the wrong answer about Austrian composers in class, my teacher said, "Are you Schubert that?"
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
Of course Napolean did not design the coat that he was wearing but we all knew that he had his hand on it.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
One of the historical figures to play music with has got to be the talented Mr. Ben-jam-in Franklin.
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.