Got a pet zebra, didn’t realise how hungry they are. He eats like a horse.
What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
A fight between tiger and lion broke out. Both of them wanted to become the next empe-roar of the jungle.
What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
What did the ghost say to the bee
“BOOBEE”
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t like being known about-?
Anonymouse.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play?
A mouse organ!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
What's green, green, green, green, green?
A frog rolling down a hill.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds? Yes, 8 Iguanadons and 2 Stegasaurus.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
Why do bee keepers have beautiful eyes?
Because they hold bees. (Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder)
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
Why do flamingos fly south in winter? Because it would be too far to walk.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
What’s striped and goes round and round?
A tiger in a revolving door.
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
Did you hear about the bird that couldn’t pass environmental legislation?
He was a lame duck.
Why are flamingos the happiest birds? They live with no reggrets.
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
Just had Lobster Bisque for the first time!
It was souper good!
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What do you call a tiger who always gets the same grades as one other person? A tie-ger.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
How does a baby beetle get around?
In a buggy.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.
What did the dolphin say to its friend who wouldn’t stop lying?
Stop spouting nonsense!
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
What do you call an elephant with rotors?
A Nellie-copter.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
How do you catch a monkey?
Climb a tree and act like a banana.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.