What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.