What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.