Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.