What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
What kind of TV does a skeleton watch?
A skelevision.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What do you call witches who live together?
Broom-mates.
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
Within the labyrinthine bureaucracy prowls the deadly Adminotaur.
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
Why don’t vampires use the front door?
Because they use the bat flap instead.
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
What do you call it when the Bigfoot in charge makes pasta for all the others?
Alpha Yeti Spaghetti!
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
How do Yetis tell the time?
With a sasq-watch.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A bud hound
If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
Werewolves love similes and metafurs.
Why aren't there more Bigfoot jokes?
There are, but they're really hard to find!
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
What does goblin's blood consist of?
Hemogoblin.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.