Why do skeletons get sick on windy days?
It goes right through them.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
"Laughing 'til I'm coffin."
What do you call a glass of pig’s blood?
Swine.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
You must be a defibrillator because you are sending shocks directly to my heart.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after he broke his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
I used to be engaged to a girl with a wooden leg.
But I broke it off.
I don't mind leg day at the gym.
It's just the two days after that I can't stand.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
What do you call a funny bone?
A humerus.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
What do you call a group of arms?
An army.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What do you call a skeleton who lies?
A phoney-ba-boney.
I surprised my friend as she was trying to steal another spine from a corpse...
She was takin' a back when taken aback!
Where do you learn about bones?
Osteoclasst.
I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.
Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
What’s the coolest part of a skeleton?
The hip.
Restrooms in restaurants often have a sign saying "Employees must wash hands".
But after waiting hours, no one has ever helped me with mine!
A person without arms and a knife in their mouth is still technically armed,
but only to the teeth.
You’re my heartthrob.
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
The xylobone.
How do two skeletons have se*?
They bone each other.
I went to the Red Cross to donate blood.
They threw me out and said "We don't want your type here!"
Baking and Fire Safety can go hand-in-hand.
Stop, drop and roll
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
Donating blood can be A-positive experience
But sometimes it can B-negative.
The guy who invented the watch must have had a lot of time on his hands
what do doctors use to draw blood?
A needle?
No, a red crayon!
Cutting my arms was the best descision I've ever made
Hands down.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What do you say when two red blood cells get married?
Coagulations!
"Bone to be wild."
I had a birth defect where they had to relocate my heart
I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place.