I can row a boat.
Canoe?
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
Why don't they make boats out of peppers?
Because they're always capsaicin!
I took my boat out to go fishing today. I looked over and saw my neighbor’s dock was parallel to mine.
I guess I found my self in a real “para-docks”
Why don't boats have funerals?
They have wakes.
A functional gun shoots
While a broke one needs troubleshooting.
What do you call babies with guns?
Infantry.
why was the ship called 3.14
because it was full of π-rates.
What gun does a military chef use?
A salt rifle.
You know what really floats my boat?
Surface tension.
I wasn't wearing hearing protection when the atom bomb went off.
Now I am become deaf, destroyer of worlds.
You’re traveling the Oregon Trail and you meet a man named Terry. You say “Terry? That’s a girls name!” He pulls out his gun and shoots you.
You have died from dissin' Terry.
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
What happened when Napoleon got killed with a bomb?
Napoleon Blownapart.
I decided to switch to a knife to preserve my ammo.
The guys at Laser Tag started freaking out though.
Homeless man attacks kid with a knife
Don’t worry the kid was fine. He had a knife.
What is a popular videogame for young utensils?
Fork Knife.
What do you call a big boat full of fish
A carp ark.
The bartender asked the pirate, "Is that a ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?"
The pirate replied"Aye! It's driving me nuts!"
What do you call a selfish bomb?
Mine.
Fork: "Who was that ladle I saw you with last night?"
Spoon: "That was no ladle. That was my knife."
I'm reading a book about a sadistic evil man who attaches ridges from boat hulls to his victims.
He's a mad keeler.
How does a bomb choose not to go off?
It refuses.
My friend sailed his yacht into the wharf very rapidly, crashing into the dock and causing a dent in the hull.
It's just a berth mark, he swears.
What did the knife say to the other knife? Knife to meet you!
Why did the man bring a gun to the clock factory?
To kill some time.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
What do you do when you're in a knife fight with a group of clowns?
Go for the juggler.
When the first nuclear bomb was detonated all the neutrons were sad.
Because their parents had just split.
I'm Going to Host a Boat Race.
The winner will get pasta. It will be called the Penne Regatta.
What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
"OK boomer."
I got fired from the bomb disposal squad
Too bad, I had a blast working there.
My boat is starting to sink, I'm going to sell it.
See my boat listing in the paper.
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife? A heartless killer.
Have you ever been on a party boat?
It’s a Yacht of fun.
Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?
So when they come back to port they can scandinavian.
A sad bullet comes home to his family.
"Honey you look terrible!" Exclaims his wife. "What happened?"
"I got fired."
I was surprised when I saw a boat in the driveway so I asked my wife about it.
She said there was a great sail.
What did the pilot of the Enola Gay say before dropping the bomb ?
"Let me Atom."
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
I don’t believe in boats
I have yacht to see one.
What is Tesla's favorite gun?
A musket
What did the British man say to the man with the submachine gun he's never met?
Uzi?
I saw a headline in the newspaper that said someone made a bomb out of nitrous oxide.
This is no laughing matter.
My writer buddy went to buy a new boat...
He named it Penman-Ship.
What do you call an imaginary yacht?
A dream boat.
What do you call a sheep with a machine gun?
Lambo.
What kind of melody does a ship makes when if it crashes on shore?
A wreck-quiem.
If Kim Jong-un had a private yacht, it would be a dictator ship
Why do all the boats in Scandinavia have barcodes on the sides of them?
It makes it easier to... scan da navy in.