What do skiers order at fast food restaurants?
Icebergers with Chilly Sauce, on the slide.
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
I applied for a job as an Instructor at a Scuba Diving center. The interviewer wanted to know if I can work well under pressure.
It is now a universal truth that actions speak louder than coaches.
How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
What did the magician say to the fisherman?
"Pick a cod, any cod."
Pack your trunks – we’re having a pool party!
We had an argument on our way back from the tournament. Our position is that their goal was stopping ours.
Why wasn't the jogger all that bummed out when his girlfriend broke up with him?
'Cause they had a good run.
Did Cyclops the X-man play hockey? Yes, he enjoyed lasing up the skates.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
I hate when I have to stop scuba diving
If makes me deep-pressed
Why did the fish cross the road? Cause it was hooked!
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Where is a basketball player's favorite place to eat?
Dunkin' Donuts
If you make a mistake of playing basketball with pigs, they will hog the ball.
How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb?
FORE!
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
I really hate these strings. I can feel it in my gut.
Why did they arrest the volleyball player? They suspected foul play.
If you want to impress the crowd, hit overheads. Every point will be a smash hit.
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? "You bass-tard!"
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
The beauty with bowling is that you can get three strikes, but you still remain in the game.
Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
The fisherman goes to a bobber shop!
Golfer: The doctor says I can’t play golf.
Caddie: Oh, he’s played with you, too, eh?
I can’t believe I framed the ball in for a winner. Shank you!
How do snowboarders introduce themselves when they meet somebody on the slopes?
Sorry Dude.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing tennis?
Juan on Juan!
What time should I book the court? Let’s shoot for around tennish.
Get in the swim this summer.
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Federer is such a legend that they named the Roger’s Cup, and Fed Cup after him.
How do you call stage diving at Oktoberfest?
Krautsurfing.
Opposing coaches facing the Leafs in the 60s and 70s knew that Dave was the
one to Keon.
Don’t get me wrong, I love our soccer team. However, in sharp contrast to the albatross, our team doesn’t have two decent wings.
My wife drove our German car off the pier into the sea. The next day I went diving to look for it.
I got the Benz.
Don’t be a wet noodle – join us!
Why did the barber win the race?
He took a short cut!
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
There is no glory in practice, but without practice there can be no glory. This volleyball pun is very inspirational. For you to do your best, you have to be willing to practice.
The only ship that has never docked on their harbor is the premiership.
What does Darth Vader say when he plays volleyball? May the spike be with you.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.