What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.