What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
What kind of deer make great weather forecasters?
Rain-deer.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
What is the most affordable type of meat that we would purchase?
“Dear balls because they are always under a buck.”
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.