How do worms measure their length?
They ask a tape worm to help out!
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
Why did the worm leave the Apple?
Because Noah said to travel in pairs
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
Why do worms hate graveyards?
They keep bumping into skeletons!
Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?
It ended in a tie.
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
What type of food do worms like?
Your Halloween Candy!
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
He was going in one ear and out the other!
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
What is a worm's favorite band? Mud.
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
Who is the worm's Prime Minister? Maggot Thatcher.
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
What do worms leave round their baths? The scum of the earth.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
What is the maggot army called? The Apple Corps.
What eats laptops? Computer worms.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.