Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.