Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”