What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.