Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.