Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.