Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.