What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.