Why are gnomes friends with dolls?
They like to share clothes.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
Go big or go gnome.
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.