What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!