Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.