How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.