What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Rock was magma before it was cool.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.