"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." —Alexander the Great
"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
"Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge"- Don Kardong
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
“I tried every diet that was in the book, I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
Dolly Parton
"I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me"- Fred Allen.
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"The best abs exercise is five sets of stop eating so much..."
– Lazar Angelov
"If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor."
- Christiaan Barnard
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not." - Mark Twain
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits." - Author unknown
"If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most."
- Jason Love.
"Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I'm a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash."
- Fergie
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
"To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you've lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
"Never eat more than you can lift"- Miss Piggy.
---
"I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets."- Dolly Parton
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
- Neil Armstrong.
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory"- Albert Schweitzer
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
"Let's have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle."
- Earl Blumenauer.
"If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym?"
- Dave Attell
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”- Erik Satie
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
"If your doctor's last name is Google, it's time to get a second opinion…" - Toni Bernhard, J.D.
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox