“They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Anonymous
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”— Will Rogers
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi