Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.