What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..
It's a current affair.
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
What do you call a baby tree struck by lightning?
A zapling.
My wife was watching me do some DIY and she said I hammer like lightning.
I never strike in the same place twice.
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
What did the thunderstorm say to the lightning rod?
You'll never catch me, copper!
There is a higher chance of being struck by lightning than to be killed in a shark attack.
Shocking isn't it.
Lightning never strikes coffee in its bean form.
Only when it's ground.
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
What did the pigeon say after being struck by lightning?
Not coo.
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
Why shouldn't you smoke weed during a thunder storm?
Because lightning strikes the highest object.
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
My neighbors house got struck by lightning.
It hit close to home.
Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.
It's ok to be negative if you find yourself in a thunderstorm.
You probably won't get struck by lightning.
I knew a guy that got struck by lightning twice.
It was a re-volting scene.
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
Why was there lightning and thunder in the lab?
The scientists were brainstorming.
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
I read a bunch of news articles dealing with lightning strikes recently.
I'm trying to keep myself knowledgeable about current events.
When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.
I take the path of least resistance.
What did the lightning strike survivor say when interviewed?
"It was shockingly powerful. Like, it really Hertz"
My wife drives like lightning.
I don't mean she drives fast - she hits trees.
My dad's nickname is lightning.
That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.
My wife said the stretch marks on her legs looked like lightning bolts...
So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.
What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
What did the cow that was struck by lightning say?
I'm udderly shocked.
I was surprised when I saw a man get struck by lightning.
The man was shocked as well.
Did you hear about the cows struck by lightning?
They were completely cattletonic!
I never knew how lightning worked
Thats until it finally struck me.
Do you want to hear a joke about a bolt of lightning?
Actually, maybe not. The end is rather shocking.
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.