What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Rock was magma before it was cool.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.