Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.