I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.