What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.