What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.