There once was a koala who could run at a speed of more than 800 miles per hour. He was the first koala to break the sound bearier.
Was the koala able to complete the grueling 26-mile marathon? Bearly.
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
Where are koalas taken when they die? To an ancient bearial site.
What happened when the koala house party got a little too far out of hand? One of the neighbors koalaed the cops.
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
What is a koala’s favorite pop singer? Koala Rae Jepsen. Her most popular song? “Koala Me Maybe”.
When does a Koala go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
How do you know when a baby koala bear is happy? You’ll see them jump for joey!
What did the koala write in his Valentine’s Day card to his girlfriend? “I love you-calyptus”.
Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
Why are koala's so sleepy? Because you just got to be tired being so darn cute all day!
How did the koala bear get the high-paying job? He met all of the koalafications.
Why did the Koala cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
I tried to keep a koala in my house, but the smell was just unBEARable.
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
What is a koala’s favorite exercise?
Bearobics.
What do koalas do when they’re facing a tough situation? They grin and bear it.
What happened when the koala tripped and fell in a crowded restaurant? He got embearassed.
Why did the koala get fired from his job?
Because he would only do the bear minimum.
How do koalas stay in shape? They do bearobics.
Before the Koalaville basketball team can play for the national championship, they have to make it through the koalafying rounds.
If you ever own a koala as a pet, make sure you can keep track of it by putting a koalar around its neck.
How do you apologize to a koala?
Bear your heart and soul to them.
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
What happens when a koala drinks too much alcohol? He gets a bear gut.
What is a koala bear’s favorite line in the movie “The Sixth Sense”? “Aussie dead people.”
What does a koala do before making any kind of appointment? He always checks his koalander.
What’s small, furry and slightly purple? A koala holding its breath!
How does a koala get from one place to another? On a gondkoala.
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
What is a koala’s favorite type of fruit? Bearies.
Why isn't the the koala a real bear? He doesn't have the right koalifications.
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What is a koala bear’s favorite mixed drink? A pina koala.
Why didn’t the koala bear get the job? He was underkoalafied. How did he fix this? By going back to koalage.
What do koalas use when they’re doing yard work? A wheelbearow.
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
Did you hear about the koala bear in the church choir? Yeah, they say he sings bearitone.
What’s the scariest koala movie ever made? The Bear Witch Project.
What happened when the bear applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied.
Why did the bear quit his second job?
Because he needed some koalaty time with his family.
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
Besides eucalyptus leaves, what is a koala bear’s favorite vegetable? Koalaflower.
Every koala supports the idea of being able to defend themselves against tyranny. They believe in having the right to bear claws.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
Why was the koala scientist so well-respected by his peers? He was known for conducting excellent koalatative research.
Why don’t koalas like fast food? Because it’s too hard for them to catch.