What birds like to write?
Penguins!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.