How can you tell a blonde has used your computer? There is white out on the screen.
What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool? Air Pockets What has 12 feet and an IQ of 40? A Blonde-tourage.
Did you ever hear about the blonde who bathed herself and drank cleaning substances? She wanted to be spotless inside and out.
A blond rings up an airline.
She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?"
The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..."
The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
A blond was taking helicopter lessons.
The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you're doing."
At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great.
At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing well.
Right before she got to 3000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground.
The instructor ran to where she crash landed and pulled her out of the helicopter. "What went wrong?"
The blond said, "At 2500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off."
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.
The guy asks, "What are you carrying?"
"Melons," the blonde replies.
"Cool," the guy says.
"If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?"
The blonde giggles and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them."
How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days? Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
How do you confuse a blond?
Tell them to count the stairs on a escalator.
Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!"
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?"
Why do blondes wear their hair up? To catch everything that goes over their heads.
A blond rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?" The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..." The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? She moved.
Why do blondes make bad bankrobbers? Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards
Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said 'concentrate'.
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
How many dumb blonde jokes are there? None they're all true stories.
Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken.
What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? Perri-air.
How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off a cliff.
Why did the blonde put sugar on her bed? Because she wanted sweet dreams!
What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade.
Did you hear about the blonde corn maze? It only had 1 stalk.
Doctor: "You look exhausted."
Blond: "I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it."
Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!
A redhead tells her blond stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian." The blond replies, "Oh my God. You slut. How many is a brazilian?"
How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
An blond loses his check book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.
Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your check book, because anyone can forge your signature.
Man: "I'm not a fool. I already signed all the checks so there is no space to forge my signature!"
Two blondes were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train.
A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they’d never seen before.
Each bought one.
The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel.
When the train emerged from the tunnel, she looked across to her friend and said, “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”
“Why not?”
“I took one bite and went blind for half a minute.”
Why did the blonde take a camera to bed? To record what she was going to dream that night.
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour. So, when would you like to start?"
"Could I start In three months?"
Why blondes can't make Koolaid? Because they can't get 2 quarts of water in that small koolaid envelope.
Why shouldn't you even think about dating the blond outfielder who got hit in the head by a baseball?
Because she's a bad catch.
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"
A blonde goes to a soda machine.
She puts in a dollar and gets a soda.
She does this again and again.
A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long.
She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"
What's the mating call of the blonde? "I'm sooooo drunk!"
How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days?
Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and with a screaming voice said, “I have a complaint!”
“How can i help you?” said the librarian looking up at her.
“I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!”
Puzzled by her complain the librarian asked “What was wrong with it?”
“It had way too many characters and there was no plot!” said the blonde.
The librarian nodded and said, “Ahhh. So YOU must be the person who took our phone book."
Why did the blonde only tie one shoe? Because on the bottom it said "Taiwan" (Tie one)
Why did the blond enter the tennis courts naked?
Because the sign said tennis shoes only.
Why do blondes take the pill? So they know what day of the week it is.
Why did the blond softball team always eat at Taco Bell before a game?
So they'd get more runs than the opponents.
Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? Because she got an "F" in se*.
How do you drown a blonde? Tape a mirror to the bottom of a pool.
How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.
Baseball Fan: Have you ever seen a line drive?
Blond Baseball Fan: No, but I have seen a baseball park.
What do you call a blonde holding a balloon? Siamese twins
Why do blondes wear ponytails? To hide the valve stem!