"Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years." - Oscar Wilde
"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable." - Oscar Wilde
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg
"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot
"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” - George Burns
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional" - Chili Davis
"Regrets are the natural property of grey hairs." - Charles Dickens
"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." - Unknown
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” - Kitty O’Neill Collins
"People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." - George Burns
"Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out." - Phyllis Diller
"Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you." - Ogden Nash
"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." - Hy Gardner
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
“Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
"If you want to know how old a woman is then ask her sister-in-law." - Edgar Howe
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese." – Billie Burke
"One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young." – Dorothy Canfield Fisher
"Old age comes at a bad time." – San Banducci
"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen." - Mark Twain
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” - George Burns
"We don’t grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso
"I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." - Unknown
"There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus, he does not believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus." - Bob Phillips
"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
"Old age is always fifteen years older than I am." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
""Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." - Larry Lorenzoni
"We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis
"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." - Joel Plaskett
"If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself." - Anonymous
“The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred." - Woody Allen
"A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’" - Claude Pepper
"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." - Tom Wilson
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
"I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet." - Rita Rudner
"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." - Unknown
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” —George Burns
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." – Bob Hope
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom
"Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere." – George Burns
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” - Andy Rooney
"Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once." - Dave Barry
"The idea is to die young as late as possible." - Ashley Montagu
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home."- Phyllis Diller