“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
"Money without brains is always dangerous." ~ Napoleon Hill
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
"They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it." ~ Joseph Addison
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache” – Mae West
“Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” Joseph Addison.
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben