"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
"Only on a cruise shiip will you pay hundreds of dollar a day to sleep in a closet."
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.”
― Tommy Cooper
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz