“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“Monday should be optional.”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“I'm always in a bad mood on Monday morning. It makes me hate everything for no reason whatsoever.”
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“I don’t like when I'm all stress-free and peacefully relaxing on the couch and then, out of nowhere, Monday comes along and punches you right off the couch!”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”