We all know that monkeys of all species love bananas, however, there is one family that doesn’t really fancy them, the orang-utans.
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
I recently went to a soft fruit party, where all the food was berry based. It was cherrific.
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
What is a squirrel’s favorite drink? A Peanut-Kola-da.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
How do you sum up a cashew?
In a nutshell.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
My friend accidentally got salt in his papercut.
Talk about adding insalt to injury.
What does a worry wart drink? Safe-Tea.
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
People say nothing rhymes with orange. It seems very strange to me.
What is a chillin' banana's favorite song?
Mellow Yellow!
Why did the banana go to the hostpital? Because it wasnt peeling very well
Why doesn't Daniel Tosh eat Hot Dogs? He can't find the zipper
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
When Berry the dog dug up the woman's strawberry patch, she angrily exclaimed "That is the final straw, Berry."
"It's wine o'clock."
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
What do you call a pear in a compressor?
Pear pressure!
Do you want to try my soup? I have enough for broth of us!
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
Where did the nut keep his money?
In his cash shoe.
What drink do you need to steal? Virgin-tea. Why do hipsters only drink iced tea? Because ice was water before it was cool.
What is a corn's favorite song?
Corn fields forever.
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
I have pea soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That’s why I pea soup all night!
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
How do the Vietnamese like their soup? Purrrrrfect.
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
Strawberries are berry healthy. They pack a punch when it comes to beating cancer and other diseases.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm."
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
What did the peanut say right before taking an exam? “I walnut fail!”
What do you get when you photocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
Beer doesn't make you fat
It makes you lean.
A lemon says to an orange, “What are you up to?”
The orange replies, “Not much. Just hanging ‘round.”
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
What do you call corn that joins the army?
Kernel.