Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!