Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.